Thursday, October 23, 2008 @11:22 PM
It's week 10 and I think I'm keeling over soon cos of the heavy workload. I can't breathe. Constantly, my mind is always thinking about the work that I have to finish but at the same time, I just have no mood for such stuff.
My heart seems heavy...so heavy that I can barely keep going each day. I wanted to let go but because I still loved
him so much, I didn't in the end. Keeping quiet, I trudged through another week or so.
He's treating me much better than
he used to. But somehow, something has changed. It's just not how I thought it would be. The chemistry we still share still exists but I find that when talking to
him, I cannot bring myself to trust
him. Not like how it used to be. On
his side, it seems like
he is not so happy when
he goes out with me and yet, when
he goes out with
his other friends,
he seems so happy.
I also dun wanna hang on to someone who doesn't feel happy when
he is with me. I smsed
him about it but
he just avoided the topic and didn't address it directly. Is it really that hard to be honest with me? All I wanted was
his love and honesty from
him and from the start to the end, it was just so hard for
him to give this to me.
I guess I'm just going to stop believing in hope or miracles anymore. A fairytale will just remain as it has always been, only a fairytale. Nothing more.