My New Year Resolutions for 2009
From the moment the clock hits 12 midnight:
1) I will not shed a single tear ever again.
2) I will never fall in love ever again.
3) I will work my hardest to obtain the fucking merit award for my degree.
4) I will work my hardest to get a good job and get my career kick-started.

Well, I don't know if I can keep numbers 3 and 4 but I'm pretty definite that I will keep numbers 1 and 2.

Happy New Year y'all!~

Feeling rather pleased with myself now. Cleared a wee bit of packing and cleaning today. I even bought the present for a friend's baby shower and self-indulged in buying a loofah sponge to remove dead skin cells from my legs. Whoopee! (:

From now on, I'm going to concentrate on loving myself because I have not done that in years. Was previously too busy caring about other people so it's time to do myself some justice.

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Even though you said you wanted to maintain a friendship, I really don't see it working out. You're hardly making any effort on your part. It's always me who initiates every damn thing; the phone calls, the smses, the msn messages, the meetups, the going-outs and every other little thing. I know you still care but I really do not feel like you bother about me.

That's why on Boxing Day, I told myself that no matter what your response was, I am going to give up on you and live life for myself. If you really do care about or love me, you will have to work to build the relationship back because I'm not going to bother anymore. It really doesn't make sense for me to do all the dirty work for you while you sit back, relax and enjoy the company.

Besides, you seem a lot happier without me in your life... So, why should I bother to try to do something that makes me feel so unhappy and unappreciated? I don't think you need me by your side anyway, not anymore. Now, you just probably want someone else.

Now when I look back and re-read yesterday or rather, this early morning's post, somehow it sounds like I was writing gibberish and ranting. LOL. Ah wells, it was another boring Sunday today, stuck at my lappie, playing Pet Society on Facebook, feeding and playing games with my tamagotchi, and playing My Sims, Contact and Trauma Center 2 on my DS. Yes, everything is "PLAY" but I am still so bored. Sigh...

I think I need something else to do. So, tomorrow, I am going to clean and pack the remainder of my shelves so that I do not feel so bloody redundant and tired while playing all the time. However, "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"; I somehow don't have the mood to do anything except resting and playing. Wahahaha... (:

So, I shall push myself to work hard tomorrow. Must find a way to "force" myself to go on daily jogs in the mornings from now on too! Sigh, the things I do to "torture" myself in order to rid the boredom I feel...

Christmas is overrated and too commercialized. Whatever happened to the homely and warm feeling that Christmas used to bring with it? Or the people who were easily satisfied with the simple gesture of greetings and hand-written cards? Most importantly, what happened to the appreciation and coming together of family members?

Given the hectic lifestyle in Singapore, I don't have much opportunity to actually sit down with my family and have a peaceful meal with them or even talk to them on a regular basis. Come to think of it, I probably spend more time with my laptop than anyone else. To me, Christmas is always a time to get together with individuals who are part of my family and just spend quality time getting to know what's going on in each other's life.

Thankfully, I think my parents, brothers and myself are fine. We spent the last three days playing games like Risk, Game of Life and Taboo. It may seem a little lame especially to the younger generation who prefer to indulge themselves in computer games but believe me, games like the above-mentioned do wonders to bond people together.

How often does one see his own father screw up at Taboo? (Like mine who replied "pie" when asked "If it's not an apple, it's an _______ "; for those who don't know, the answer is "orange") Or how often does one see her mother's reaction to having so many children in the Game of Life? And at the end of the day, everyone just laughs it all off and secretly hopes for the other people to get into funny situations so that it can turn out to be an amusing story to be told next year.

I'm just glad to be able to experience this during a time when I feel like Christmas has lost its meaning. It's just a pity that I couldn't experience this with my cousins this year but I'm hoping for CNY...

Somehow, I just don't feel happy this year. Family seems rather fragmented and dysfunctional; with the black faces glaring at each other at home and "missing" family members who are not at home during this cold and rainy night. That's why I'm still awake at this hour. I really can't sleep. Thinking of loads of stuff. Something is missing from my life - stability and the feeling of being loved and appreciated.

Ah wells, I guess I don't have control over these things that happen but somehow, it still affects me a lot. Sometimes, I don't understand why all this is happening. Hopefully, I will...someday...

I am really bugged by this stuff now but I think I will try not to let it bother me so much.

Meanwhile, to all you folks out there, have yourself a merry little christmas now.

I just came out of the shower. Feels so good to be clean and smelling like Johnson and Johnson's baby almond milk bath. (:

Had a really long and busy day. In the morning, I helped my mum with the cleaning of the kitchen. OMG. Had to scrub so many cabinet covers and the floor. Was also cleaning out the cutlery drawers and washing all the utensils, bowls and what-have-yous. After helping my mum with the kitchen, I was so super tired. Really didn't have the energy to continue doing anything so I went to shower.

Then, I helped her to put up our Christmas tree. Afterwhich, I tried so hard to take a nap but failed to do so as my mind was too active.

Met Eugene and Su Juen at Raffles Place MRT in the evening at 6.30pm before heading to Victoria Concert Hall where we watched the Variations VI Concert by the St Pats Alumni Band. Collected the tix from Ben and headed to our seats at the second level. The band was quite good and thankfully, they played a lot of familiar tunes. If not, I might have lost interest and fallen asleep as I was still quite tired out from the cleaning earlier on. After the concert, we were waiting for Ben so in the end, me and Su Juen started taking photos.

Attempt 1: Some guy made the background behind me look blurry

Attempt 2: Clear Background and Visible Christmas Tree - Success!

We headed down to Changi Airport and asked Tze Hern to meet us there as well. At first, he seemed a little reluctant and thanks to our wonderful persuasive skills, he agreed! (: We had our dinner at TCC at Changi Airport and ended up playing card games in one of the hotel rooms in the Airport Hotel cos all the places selling liquor closed quite early. It was fun. Haven't played games or chilled with everyone for a super long time. Oh wells, holidays are going to be over soon so maybe when school reopens, there will be more opportunities to meet up.

Went to watch the Nutcracker ballet on Wednesday night with him. Before that, we went to Shokudo to have our dinner. Somehow, it just felt really weird at first. I felt like I didn't know what to say to him or how to behave. But after a while, it felt a bit more normal and not so awkward.

He had the pork cutlet curry rice.


I had the chicken cutlet curry rice.


Japanese curry is one of his favorite foods and it is actually because he liked it so much that he sort of influenced me to grow to like it as well. Not that it is a bad thing. He also ordered a grilled flounder which I wasn't really fond of. I thought that the roe tasted weird.

After dinner, we went for the show and it was really good. Though the ballet technique used was much lesser than the entertainment value of the show, I really enjoyed it. It was somewhat of a magical moment that I will always remember. I'm just happy that he was there with me to share that moment.

On a second note, my cousin is getting married next year. Today, my uncle and aunt came over to my place with the wedding dinner invitation. Somehow, I never thought that she would get married before me. We're both the same age and I always thought that I would get married before her.

I guess God works in mysterious ways sometimes. It's so ironic how things turned out to be.

Jacq is happy! She has booked tickets for herself and Alex to watch Cinderella next year. (:

On a side note, Alex, please remember to note down that we are watching it on 22nd January ya? Dun forget ah!!~

Waiting to meet Alex for dinner now so I'm still hanging out at school with my lappie. Decided to blog cos I was soooo bored. Anyways, results are mostly out already even though it's only the informal release. Not that bad. Did quite well in certain mods but also did quite badly in the others. (Stoopid finance mods!!)

Analysis of Equity Investment: C
Risk Management & Insurance: B-
Sociology of Economic Life: B+
Managerial Decision Making: B+
Knowledge Governance: A-

In the end, my GPA did go up, but only by a measly 0.01 :(

It sucks cos if I really want to obtain a GPA of 3.0 by next term, I have to score at least 2 A and 1 A- in my last three modules last term. Grrrrr....Virtually impossible!!! For social stratification, I can still write, research and edit till the cows come home and hopefully, hit the A mark but how the heck do I get A in corporate reporting or management accounting??? Argh.

I think maybe it's just time to let go...let go of whatever I have been fighting for. It's so bloody useless to keep achieving good grades when I don't even know I'm going to do with it. Sigh...Just feeling so tired after all the shit I've been through. I can only hope and wish that next year will be a lot better.

Today, he fetched me to Dempsey and I did half of my Christmas shopping there. Grrr...spent a bomb but since it's for my family, I can't complain. (:

Anyways, we had brunch at this lovely place called CA * California. I absolutely loved the concept of using street signs within the area of the café to point out the different counters. The ambience was super relaxing.

He had the "In-coming" Burger with all of the additional toppings such as melted cheddar cheese, sauteéd herbed mushrooms, sunny side-up egg and cripsy bacon strips.


I had the "Patty Melt" Grilled Ham & Cheese Sandwich which was really yummy except that I found the bread a little hard.


Oh well...the photos just don't do the food justice. I think it's time to change my handphone. Either that or I'll just have to buy a new camera. Booooo....that means more expenditures!!! :(

This is probably one of my better and more recent poems. Short but at the same time, it's kind of straight to the point. Not like some of my other poems which can be rather draggy and maybe a bit too "deep" at times; so much so that when I read through them, I don't even know what some of them were orginally inspired by. Wahaha...I really like this one cos it kind of exemplifies who "Jacq" really is.

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Since my secondary school and poly days, I have always loved to write poetry. I was constantly writing whether I was on the bus on the way home, in school during recess, during happy or sad times. Writing was my life. But, thanks to university life, I totally lost the mood and time to spend hours writing and trying to perfect my works...Till now.

Had some inspiration to write just now and came up with this poem. Hopefully, someday, I'll be able to publish a book with all my works for everyone to read. (:

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♪ jacq
♪ 3rd nov 1983
♪ scorpio
♪ smu social science
♪ dreamer

♥ white roses
♥ singing
♥ writing poetry
♥ puzzles
♥ pretty bags
♥ beautiful scenery

♦ to be loved and to love in return
♦ to excel in work for the coming year

October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
June 2009

♀ alex
♀ brenda
♀ eugenie
♂ jareth
♀ jessica
♀ lishan
♀ sj
♀ taa

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