Tuesday, October 7, 2008 @11:01 PM
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." - Herman Hesse"To hold, you must first open your hand. Let go." - Tao Te Ching-----------------------------------------------------------------
For weeks, I have been feeling so much pain, hurt and misery. Even more so last night... (Thank you for listening and being there for me, you know who you are)
Now, I just feel so disillusioned. Feel like I'm being cheated and lied to by
him. Somehow, the things that were said by
him doesn't equate to the actions
he takes. I have finally stopped crying myself to sleep since school started 8 weeks ago. But I think I'm starting to revert to that again. It's just so tiring to try to second-guess
him all the time. Even after 5 years, I still don't know
him at all. I can't trust
him, like I used to, ever again.
I know the solution to my problem but it really is not that easy to let go of everything, even though I really want to. The biggest obstacle that is hindering me is that I am not ready to let go of
him yet. Maybe this was all pre-destined. It just wasn't meant to be.