Somehow, I just don't feel happy this year. Family seems rather fragmented and dysfunctional; with the black faces glaring at each other at home and "missing" family members who are not at home during this cold and rainy night. That's why I'm still awake at this hour. I really can't sleep. Thinking of loads of stuff. Something is missing from my life - stability and the feeling of being loved and appreciated.
Ah wells, I guess I don't have control over these things that happen but somehow, it still affects me a lot. Sometimes, I don't understand why all this is happening. Hopefully, I will...someday...
I am really bugged by this stuff now but I think I will try not to let it bother me so much.
Meanwhile, to all you folks out there, have yourself a merry little christmas now.
